How routine kills your passion

You see them everywhere; the people that have lost the spark. You can see it in their eyes. There is no light anymore, life has become a routine. They do what they have to do, but all passion is gone. I guess they have forgotten what they once were passionate about.

My job is full of people like that. As soon as I enter the kitchen I feel the negative energy. It used to be that way when I worked at the restaurant at IKEA back in Norway too. I wonder why so many people lose their passion working in a kitchen. I guess it is because of the level of stress and the work so characterized by routine. It is the exact same every day. I am passionate about cooking, but I know I could never make it my profession like that. The routine would kill the passion.

I am afraid my life would become routine at some stage. I am afraid that I'll be working in a job that does not inspire me anymore. That I'll be coming home to a man that has stopped surprising and challenging me. That I'll be cooking the same dinner I've cooked hundred times before. That I'll be having the same conversations over and over again. That I no longer find the time to do what really inspires me, like reading, writing and discovering new music. That I at some point will stop dreaming, stop journeying towards a better person. And that I will be totally comfortable with that. That is what scares me the most.

Right now I am making choices that I hope will prevent this from happening in the future. And I try to keep persons around me who can challenge and inspire me. And I read more than ever. For now that is all I can do.

Irony

We lose many things simply out of our fear of losing them.

Paulo Coelho, from Brida

My good friend G

She has helped me realize so many things. These last weeks have been intense for the both of us. The conversations we have had over a glass of wine and a piece of cake down at our cafe have been life changing. More than once I have been given the trilling sensation of finally understanding something important. Answers I have been searching for all my life, are suddenly coming to me. I finally find words to describe feelings I've never been able to understand before.

Good conversations like these are rare. It is hard to find someone that can help you this much. My friend is, like me right now, taking risks and fighting for what she believes in. She knows the importance of keeping passion present in your life, and holding on to the things that make you happy. And she can help me remind me of that. Together we can make sure that none of us ever gets thrown of the track.

A good conversation has the power to change your life, and I am lucky to have found someone who makes me a better person every time I sit down and talk to her.

The importance of taking risks

I believe in taking risks, I believe in daring to dream and daring to change your life. I believe in daring to take a different road than everyone else. I see so many people staying for years in a job that they feel is unsatisfying, because they can't find the strength to break out of the routine. I hope I never get there.

I have now decided to go for something that is a risk economically. I have decided to take my Masters degree, even though that leaves me in huge depth. But it is an investment, and it is an investment in something that I believe in. It is an investment in me. I believe I will be able to make it, I believe in taking risks to get the life I want.

I have never been happier. I am right now in the country I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do. I work in a kitchen where a chef is inspiring me in my cooking. I am soon going to start a course that will help me become the writer I want to become. I have conversations with a friend that is inspiring me to write and to take risks in life. These conversations help me realize so many things about my past, present and future. Life is finally given meaning. I believe when you can appreciate hurt as a important part of life, everything makes sense. I've spent so much of my life being bitter, seeing my self as a victim. Now, the pain I feel makes sense, I can see it's purpose. And I have never felt stronger.

Too tired to write

I just got a job. It is a job as a kitchen hand at a cafe nearby. I start early in the morning and run around doing dishes, cutting vegetables and occasionally serving some food. It is stressful, and quite a big change from doing nothing. I have not had much time lately to think about the things I need to be thinking about at the moment. After all, I am closer than ever to the person I want to be, and if I stop writing I stop journeying towards that person. Because, writing is one of my passions, probably the most important one, since it helps me understand what is going on around me. I just need to make sure that I always fit writing into my life, even though I might be busy and tired.

On the other side, another passion of mine is cooking, so even though my new job is pretty crappy, at least I get to be in a kitchen. Today I spent my day off cooking for some friends of mine. I actually did something I have never done before. People who know me know that I'm not much of a baker. I can make really good dinners, but I've never dared to try baking. Postponing it has only made me afraid to fail. After all, I want to be a good chef. But, as part of my new life I need to take risk. So today I baked my first bread. It was a bread with sun dried tomatoes and herbs. And it tasted quite good. So maybe these last days I've spent, not really thinking about my destiny, have not been a totally waste after all. I just needed to write it down to see that.